Sunday, April 22, 2007
As if all is not lost, you came, invaded my space, took my freedom, and my world seems to be revolving around you now. Now I'm not saying that's bad, but it's awkward. To the point when I don't want to be with my friends because you're around. To make it worse, I'm trying my very best to change, and you're the last person that accepts that fact. I don't know what's your reason for all of this, but I hope you'll allow me to understand.

To make it worse, you had to step on my lipstud and make it have a much, much higher risk of infecting my lip huh? Once again, I don't know what's your reason for all of this, but I once had the thought of retailiating, but now I find it childish, because it's just not worth it.Maybe I can guess your reason, to humiliate me? To hurt me both emotionally and physcially? I don't know.

But then again, I recall our past memories and I'm really glad to once have you in my life. You must know this that, I once thought of us as forever, but now it seems impossible that we can even communicate. I know your heart is filled full of hatred with me, and the word sorry is the least thing you want to hear from me now. But please understand me that, I never wanted, nor expected this to happen this way. Maybe this post is a little too late, but I swear, this post is typed out with remorse and regret, none with anger. Because you taught me, anger and violence is nothing close to solving problems.

Too many a times, I hallucinate, I cry over the fact that I have not done enough. You made sense, any ordinary girl would have left knowing my kind of attitude. But however, when any other ordinary girl leaves, she would be easy to gain back, given my kind of attitude. To me,you are everything I'm not. So when you left for good, I know, it's impossible to make you mine again. Please, do understand where I'm coming from. As I have promised Chng, not out of fear, but of realisation, I'm going to change. But pride, falls before success.

All I want, is nothing. Nothing from you. Just your understanding, and your grace to allow me a chance to change and freedom, freedom to live freely. This post, I've thought of a long while whether to post it or not, and I think I should. It's not for your viewing pleasure or whatever, but it's for me, a mere blogger, to vent my daily anger and stress out.


I'm really really lost without you.

For this my brothers, you good bunch of fellows, whom I believe even Kang, who beat me, has forgiven and allowed me to change. Thanks for allowing me time.



Solo boogie boogied \ 11:09 PM