Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Yesterday was probably the worse day of my happy life. I don't know who to blame, what to do.

Went to school, got caught for hair(it's okay, the school's just jealous), then got called up for an extraordinary thing. Apparently the school thinks that I've harrassed a particular female teacher on Msn, on Friday. But you see, the contridiction is, Nicholas and Shah were at my place, and I as bathing. They both could be witness, as I fucking locked the door.

So yes, I got suspended, and I have to take the damn rap. And probably get expelled. Oh wells, I've thought of a school.(:

Today, I hit my own brother, with my own bare fist. Nothing can ever erase the memory, guilt and shame etched in this heart. I feel remorseful, but there's nothing I can do. I feel sorry, but the only way is to keep reminding myself, that violence can't solve everything.

Yes, I had revenge. But the outcome was not as expected. To see blood just continuelly flowing out his face, is what I had dreaded. No doubt, I had punished him, but still, to see him not angry with me, and crying, is something worse. This mental image of him telling me he's not angry, only kills. I wished he would. I wished I hadn't said those comments and remarks about her.


Solo boogie boogied \ 12:17 PM