Solo boogie boogied \ 10:20 PM
Sunday, April 22, 2007
As if all is not lost, you came, invaded my space, took my freedom, and my world seems to be revolving around you now. Now I'm not saying that's bad, but it's awkward. To the point when I don't want to be with my friends because you're around. To make it worse, I'm trying my very best to change, and you're the last person that accepts that fact. I don't know what's your reason for all of this, but I hope you'll allow me to understand.
To make it worse, you had to step on my lipstud and make it have a much, much higher risk of infecting my lip huh? Once again, I don't know what's your reason for all of this, but I once had the thought of retailiating, but now I find it childish, because it's just not worth it.Maybe I can guess your reason, to humiliate me? To hurt me both emotionally and physcially? I don't know.
But then again, I recall our past memories and I'm really glad to once have you in my life. You must know this that, I once thought of us as forever, but now it seems impossible that we can even communicate. I know your heart is filled full of hatred with me, and the word sorry is the least thing you want to hear from me now. But please understand me that, I never wanted, nor expected this to happen this way. Maybe this post is a little too late, but I swear, this post is typed out with remorse and regret, none with anger. Because you taught me, anger and violence is nothing close to solving problems.
Too many a times, I hallucinate, I cry over the fact that I have not done enough. You made sense, any ordinary girl would have left knowing my kind of attitude. But however, when any other ordinary girl leaves, she would be easy to gain back, given my kind of attitude. To me,you are everything I'm not. So when you left for good, I know, it's impossible to make you mine again. Please, do understand where I'm coming from. As I have promised Chng, not out of fear, but of realisation, I'm going to change. But pride, falls before success.
All I want, is nothing. Nothing from you. Just your understanding, and your grace to allow me a chance to change and freedom, freedom to live freely. This post, I've thought of a long while whether to post it or not, and I think I should. It's not for your viewing pleasure or whatever, but it's for me, a mere blogger, to vent my daily anger and stress out.
I'm really really lost without you.
For this my brothers, you good bunch of fellows, whom I believe even Kang, who beat me, has forgiven and allowed me to change. Thanks for allowing me time.
Cousin, even though you don't say or show it, you have been the best cousin
in my 15 years of life. Thanks for sticking through me, and helping me
throughout every problem I encountered.
Yao, thanks, for constantly asking about my welfare and all,
I know, that among this group, you're the sweetest fellow I've ever met
(send girls go home all huh!)
Thanks, from that night in trouble, I experience, brotherhood.
Yicong, steady steady brother that sticks through every shit.
I don't know how to say it but, you also play a very important part in my life.
Even though I'm always "Yao and Mao Wei damn good" and all,
You're also very important.
Marvin, the cutest and most popular guy huh!
I know it's hard to compromise between brothers and future wives,
but, you've done pretty well alreadly.
Keep it up!
Alvin, Alvin,
the longest friend I've known compared to the group.
Can I say, we're still not that close as last year?
Thinking of our past 3 years, I'm really glad you were there.
Leng and Chng, last but not least.
The elders.
Just want you two to know, even though I know you guys won't believe much,
But I'm trying to change alreadly. Just give me time, and I'll show you what I can do.
I'm not doing this solely, I know.
Solo boogie boogied \ 11:09 PM
Monday, April 16, 2007
So today, everything stupid happened at the Police Academy.We lost, therefore no half-day at school. Things are just getting suckier day by day.
As I face him tommorow, I don't know whether I should give in or give up. Seriously, call himself christian! HAHAH!
Honestly, I'm damn tired.Fucking fucking tired.
place you hand in mine, I promise we'll be good starting all over again.
remember me; as the boy I used to be
because I'm; now getting a new skin because of you.(:
stand by,it's the chameleon boy.
Solo boogie boogied \ 10:55 PM
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Waiting for your call, I'm sick,I'm angry
Call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song I used to sing to you
At my home, do you remember
The stars;your eyes
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet
And I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
Stripped and pollished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Becaues every breath that you will take
When you are sitting next to me
Will bring life into my deepest hopes, what's your wish?
And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
I know everything you wanted isn't anything I have.
You know it.That's more than enough.Friends still,I don't think that's ever possible,with the conflicts both of us ever had.You hate it,because you're afraid that people would misunderstand that I always put you at fault on this blog.I'm sorry.You're angry,because I make people misunderstand things on the way I speak towards you.I'm sorry.You're sad,because I always use words that don't mean a thing to you.You cry,when I broke your heart,far from the first.I'm sorry.Sorry for those mistakes,sorry for breaking your heart.Sorry for even starting this journey.
So today,I realised,what they said was true.No lovers,can ever be friends.No apology would ever be enough to replace the love I lost.
The queen of hearts,I just lost it.This match between the joker and the girl;the clown lost.
Solo boogie boogied \ 3:31 AM
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Ooooh,so my old but new computer's not that bad,with it lagging every now and then.Ahaha.Okay,whatever.Things were lucky,and good today.
-most of the guys stayed till 6a
-gonna get my ass kicked by Chng soon
-sleepy of late,(what's it,homones or what?!)
Tsk,still quite boring.Man I swear I need life to spice up like the last times! FUN PEOPLE NEEDED.:D
Tell me,honestly,do you notice I'm trying to change?And you're not helping by just looking.
Solo boogie boogied \ 10:56 PM
This place was never the same after you came and went,how can said you make nothing indifferent to me.Remember your smile,maybe things'd get better after a while.
Okay,I'm back! After a month long of not getting internet.AHAHAH :D :D :D!
and your hands shake with goodbyes;and i'll take you back if you let me.
Solo boogie boogied \ 11:16 AM
Friday, April 06, 2007
So, I'm emo-ed.
dont try to forget that feeling we had.
Solo boogie boogied \ 6:45 PM